inqdeirdra | The Gang's All Here

[ She doesn't realize that she's actually holding her breath, waiting for Deirdra's reaction, but the Riskbreaker goes on to comment on things as if the time in-between were as mundane as the weather, and Cisco finds that she can finally breathe.

She runs her fingers through her hair, looks away and then back, offering a sheepish smile. ]

Pretty much. [ It's a vague enough response without it taking away the truth of things. She still does things for Halo, seeks out wandering Changing Breed, offering them safe places to stay or potential new homes -- it's a job that demands for her to be ready to pack up and move out, so she has been busy.

She nods in the general direction of the main office where she'd checked in just half an hour before. ] Just finished checking up with Halo, my hunting grounds are solidly within the Southeast Asian continent, but it felt right to check in given the way things are everywhere else.

[ There's a moment's hesitation before she ventures forward, voice soft: ] Is everyone-- [ Okay? Deployed overseas? If so, then where? These are the things she should be able to ask without it feeling like she is asking too much. But eight years is eight years, and with the exception of Gi-- Elias, who checked up on her yearly after promising to keep silent about what he knew of the direction her life had taken, she had cut herself off effectively from the others. ]

How bad is it?

[ Her gut knows the answer. She'd seen the news about Africa and Russia when Grendal had first reared their ugly head. But she has to ask. ]

[ Deirdra's face goes dark at the mention of everyone. Her blade mates, her husband, her biological kids, her Balamb kids, her other companions in Zangyaku, Netsach, Methuselah and the Midnight Riders. There isn't a single day when she does not worry about them. It's even more difficult now that they're all doing their own thing, constantly separated from each others' guarding eyes. They were smack on the start of Grendal's aggression and... ]

Everybody's pretty much all over the place. [ Her tone is angry and sad at the same time. No use hiding it from Cisco. I mean, it's Cisco. No need to hide anything from her. She lights up a cigarette and takes a puff before she replies to Cisco's question. ]

It's nice to know we've got you on board somehow though. Need all the help we get.
[ She looks down at her feet, kicking the cement floor. ] I can't begin to explain how bad it is.

[ Her eyes go up to Cisco's face, and she smiles. ] It's nice to know that you're alright, though. You had us worried.

[ She tries not to swallow and look away when Deirdra comments It's nice to know we've got you on board somehow though. Because she knows she's not, not in the way that she should -- out there, offering her skills as best as she can and helping out where she is needed. Not now, not while her children are so young and in need of guidance. Not when she can't see a way for her to come back without spilling all her secrets all at once.

She does drop her gaze though, when Deirdra smiles and there is a moment that it all nearly comes spilling out: how much she misses them, how sorry she feels about having stayed away for so long, how she's not so sure about what she's doing anymore because her relationship with Darren is beginning to weigh down on her and sometimes she wonders why she's still with him outside staying because of their kids.

She manages a smile though, and when she speaks, her tone is convincingly sincere.

She hates herself for it. ]

You know me. Always rolling with the punches.

[ Her gaze turns to the general direction of the twins. ] Rico and Allegra look good. Are you all on assignment here, or is this just a stop-over?

[ She can't help but notice the little signs that Cisco's giving off. Is she trying to tell me something?

She doesn't bother though. She'll fess up when she really wants to, and when she needs to. She'll let this pass for now. ]

Mmhmm, thanks. They grew up... really fast. Today's one of the few free days I have, so I brought them here to see the base.

[ Never mind what she's hiding. At least she's okay. I'll wait.
Nevertheless, she lifts an eyebrow, as if telling Cisco I know something's up. but she's smiling. ]

I'm sure you're doing fine with whatever it is you've got going now.

[ She catches the look that Deirdra gives her and for a moment, she feels like the world around them are walls that could close in. But her blade mate doesn't press and she can breathe again.

She'll have to go soon. The temptation to say more is already there, already tugging at her and threatening to become something that she can't resist. ]

It's good to see you. All of you. [ If she sounds regretful, it's sincere. She wants to stay, but she can't. Not yet, not now.

She reaches out then, curls her fingers around Deirdra's wrist and gives the other woman a gentle squeeze. ] I need to go. [ And she knows she shouldn't, but-- ] I'll see you soon?

[ Something at the back of Deirdra's mind wants to make Cisco stay, but she's always been the type to let people do what they want first. You can't control the people you love. She repeats to herself.

She brings a hand up to Cisco's left shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze. ]

That's okay. You know where to find me anyway.

[ Short pause. ]

Just don't take too long. Best of luck to you.

Edited 2014-02-11 03:57 (UTC)

[ She gives Deirdra a light peck on the cheek then, a murmured ] Happy hunting, Deirdra, [ before she turns to go.

She hesitates -- only a little -- and then she turns back, giving the other woman a long, tight hug before she backs up with a lifted hand and turns to head out the gates, shifting mid-way into her fox form and bounding off for home. ]

[ She returns the hug and whispers in Cisco's ears: ]

Happy hunting to you too.

[ She watches until Cisco's vanished from her sight and sighs before turning back to return to her twins.

Come home soon. To your real home. ]

The Gang's All Here

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